All American Girl

My past two nights have been completely polar opposite and, as usual, quite Molly. Two nights ago, Elise and I went with some friends to our favorite Irish pub. That night I decided my body needed a break as it has completely and continually takes a beating. (Lack of nutritious foods like veggies or meat, we eat mainly bread, too much alcohol, too little sleep, too much second hand smoke, too much coffee, Moroccan poops, lactose intolerance to the cow's milk that isn't refirgerated, etc. etc.) So anyhow, I decide not to drink. What a night...I always notice when guys make comments or cut eyes at you or whatever these Europeans think is appropriate, but without a glass of wine to, as we like to say, "round the edges," I was completely appalled! I've never felt like such a piece of ass in my life. And don't get me wrong, sometimes a cat whistle gives me a little extra perk in my step but for whatever reason, this night I thought I was gonna brawl! (which also isn't all that uncommon for me). After we go out drinking we always stop at these nasty ass Schwarma places and get food, which should only be eaten when drunk, it's that bad, but I chose to eat it sober anyway. It was okay but I couldn't get over the greasy schwarma man calling me a drunk because everybody else was....Guys just want to convince themselves you're drunk so they'll grow a pair and be able to tell you what they really want to say. Then I had this BEAUTIFUL, I mean BEAUTIFUL German guy talking to me at the bar. He is kind of a friend of a friend. Anyhow, I wrap up the conversation and go sit elsewhere with Elise and some of our closer friends. This German walks past me to the bathroom, and of course I act like I don't see him so I don't give myself away too quickly, and he did the same. In my head I just quickly thought, "bummer." Whatever. Then as he is walking back from the bathroom he completely hits on me, begs me to go to the club, asks me where I'll be the next night and kisses my cheek after I politely decline every offer of his. Once he is out of ear's reach, my friend Connor, Elise's Irishman, tells me he has a girlfriend back in Germany! I thought I was going to brawl with this boy....Who do you think you are to sweet talk someone when you've got a girlfriend! Ooooo just wait till I see that kid again! haha. I've reached a point where I just have to laugh at literally how low and plain stupid some people can be, especially foreigners! Between that, schwarma man, and all of the cat whistles it was a rough night. At the end of the night my friend Mark walked me home, completely Platonic, we refer to him as our big brother, and he tells me about this famous graffiti artist in Spain, who lives in Granada, and calls himself, "El nino de pinturas" or son of paintings. Apparently, he finds old shabby buildings, and at night goes spray paint these fascinating murals on them! I walked past a ton of them and they really are amazing. I can't believe he did them with spray paint. On top of that, Mark says he never takes a step back to see what it looks like, he just goes. Mark took me past his house and it is covered with amazing pieces of art...I felt like I was staking out batman's house or something! Anyways, that was my Wednesday night. Thursday night comes along, and with it comes my first club or "discoteca" experience. After one night of acting like an appalled, semi-inferior girl, I got back to my American self. Discoteca, here we go: we get to the discoteca at about 2am (which is early to arrive here in Spain). Kathleen and I prance on in to find that a group of Americans didn't make it in to celebrate our friend Chase's 21st birthday. They most likely didn't make it in because they weren't dressed cute enough, but the bouncers claimed it was because they were American. I didn't really think stuff like that happened, now I know. So anyway, we get into the club and they play mostly techno which you can't dance to, but when an American song comes on we all cut loose! A few American songs come on and all of the Spaniards just watch the American girls and guys go to town as they try to sing along. As the night approaches 4am, the club is so packed you can no longer dance, and the groping begins. I'd be standing as a group of guys would pass and I'd feel a hand graze my ass. I'm not sure what their thought process entails, but every guy that groped me seemed to think when he got my attention I'd look up and smile as though I was pleased. Well to their suprise, I'd let em have it, while all the other girls tried to ignore it...No way...I flipped one guy off and asked him if he knew what it meant. He looked like he'd just seen Satan. Another guy touched my but and as I looked up, he looked away. Again, I don't understand their thought process...Is it pleasing to get a load of fat in your hand? Do you enjoy grabbing buts and looking away? That just seems so foul! So I proceed to tap him on his shoulder. He is definately thinkin I liked the but grab...He probably thought he scored; then I ripped him a new one! My night seriously entailed reaming people, which I'm not going to lie, was kind of fun. Other guys grab at your wrist and they ALL say "que guapa" (how pretty) or "rubia" (blondie). I just wiggled one finger in front of their face indicating no and gave them the death stare, then left them with the "I will kill you," smile. After all of the greasy gropers, we meet up with some of our American guy friends. Well my friend Fabian, who also is also amazingly attractive and from New Orleans, so no wonder I'd find him attractive amongst all of these girly Spaniard men, give his number to some spaniard man in the club. I assumed it was a friend of some sort because Fabian has dual citizenship in Spain and the U.S. Then the guy comes up to me and says, "I-a-likey-you-friend-a-fabian." I laugh hysterically and tell him I do too. (not in a serious way, just like yeah he's my buddy). As the next two hours pass, this guy keeps coming up to Fabian and hits on him. Fabian, being the all American boy thought it was a joke, and as he realized it wasn't, was completely dumbfounded. Every time the gay guy came around Fabian would put his arm around me and act like I was his girlfriend (which I had NO problems going along with). That didn't phase the spaniard at all. He kept coming up to Fabian and even tried to kiss him! My family will appreciate this: Mom always used to tell me the funniest story about she and dad in New York at a club. Apparently my dad was hit on by some gay guys, which sent him into orbit and mom had to handle it. Well mom, I assumed the Sue Devers way once again. I looked at poor Fabian's face and he looked like a little kid who just could not understand why the big kids were being mean to him. Soooo, I turn around and tell this guy in spanish, "look, no more bothering my boyfriend." We proceed to have a conversation, and then he just starts to piss me off because he's not listening to me. I finally get him to leave and I raz Fabian a little bit for having to take care of him, but he got the coloring back in his face so I knew it was appreciated. I should have known that wasn't the last of this guy. He comes back and reaches around me (as I'm facing Fabian while we talk) and grabs Fabian's neck!!! Fabian pushed his arm off and he kept grabbing, so I push his arm off and give him the boyfriend talk again. He looks at Fabian, and in English, says he doesn't like me. haha! I honestly thought last night was going to be my opportunity for fullfilling my dream of fighting a boy. Eventually the club turned on the lights, signifying it was time to go, so Fabian snakes the line and gets Elise and my coat and we head outside. As we're sitting on the curb waiting for the rest of our group, guess who shows up? The gay Spaniard!!! This time Fabian repeatedly told him to "Get the fuck away" and to leave him the "fuck" alone. The guy, fully knowing what was being said, asked him in English to speak more slowly in a totally snotty/flirty voice. Fabian clearly had had enough as he told him "GET-THE-FUCK-AWAY means LEAVE-ME-ALONE." Anways, the night was hilarious as usual and ended at 6:30 am...I am now posting what happend, freezing in my host families house, smelling last nights disgusting second hand smoke in my hair and peacoat. Well, off to dinner, but more to come!
Over and out,
Molly "I'll ALWAYS tell you what I think / I'm not afraid to kick your ass" Devers